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Joined: Sun May 31, 2009 6:23 pm
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- March 2017
The Final Curtain
   Thu Mar 23, 2017 5:24 pm

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Permanent LinkPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2015 3:18 pm 
How charming. It’s not often that I get treated to such romantic poetry. But alas, it is part of the job. This text beggars the question of why a man or rather ‘man’ would want to spend his precious time and money with a sex worker, who in his eyes is a low life, uneducated slagheap with an attitude problem. Or maybe the problem was that I called him out on his time wasting antics and he threw his toys out of the pram (I’m putting my money on the latter). His antics were address collecting and trying to get an earlier slot than what I had offered. NO means NO. Let me repeat myself, NO means NO. Bookings are arranged on my terms. As soon as weaknesses are shown, more antics occur.

According to him, us common hookers are unable of doing any other kind of work because we are bit fat bitches. But what he ceases to realise is that we have to be socially versatile, physically capable and knowledgeable of the internet and marketing. We need thick skin and a deep intuition and we have to do mental gymnastics to ensure boundaries between our real lives and our work lives. We have to work through all sorts of physical and emotional pain and we have to live double lives and cover our tracks. We have to be an excellent judge of character and transform ourselves accordingly. We have to be educated on sexual health and how the legal system is able to help us, and which charities to run to if shit hits the fan. I think that is a decent skill set don’t you? Perhaps not suitable for a CV, but certainly for the school of hard knocks! We are smart – smart enough to know that economically, this is the best career choice (usually running alongside an actual real job FYI). Perhaps the text would be more suitably sent to someone working in a menial labour intensive minimum wage job, but not us darling. Not us.

I am certainly not the only sex worker to choose this industry in order to save money, buy a house, complete education, have a phat pension, support their family, or even just throw caution to the wind to live the high life. Perhaps some men are jealous at the modern escorts sense of social mobility. I know all of my male friends would literally be willing to have a sex change to live my life.
It’s OK though, we all know the higher truth. Besides, yesterday I received a hand written note from one of my new favourite regulars which reads:

“I was a very nervous virgin before I contacted Ivy, but her engaging charm and voluptuous professionalism immediately put me at ease. With a deft touch and adroit tongue, she deflowered me in the most erotic manner. I have now booked Ivy on a number of occasions, each booking builds on the pleasure of the last as I am lucky enough to experience her delectable, sensuous repertoire.”
I am going to keep this gorgeous token and pin it on my wall and read it every time some sweaty crotched, backwards misogynist with small dick syndrome tries to derail my day. Hopefully anyone who knows me will support me in this endeavour, perhaps I will end up with a whole collection of lovingly curated prose. One for every wanky text would be nice.


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